Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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