Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
