She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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