He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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