let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
