I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
