Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
