I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
