why didn't you poke me back
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
