i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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