Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
