a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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