So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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