I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
