I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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