So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
