i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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