my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
