Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
