I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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