Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
