How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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