We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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