where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
