He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
