Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So vagazzling was a success
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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