this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
