we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
