I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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