i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
