So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
