so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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