His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
