I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Do vagina's smell?
handjob tips. give me some.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
