I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Randomize
