if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
