return my video game
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
