he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
