This is not my ceiling
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
