But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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