Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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