my mouth tastes like poor choices
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
