You really coming over, don't trick.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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