the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
