I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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