Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
