I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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