the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize