i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
