She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
