Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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