this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
