bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
