I bet he comes in French.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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