I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
