you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
