so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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