im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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