Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
from now on my penis is your penis
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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