i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
