just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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