he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
