maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
