at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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