How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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