Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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