I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
