every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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