You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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