That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
